My Issue With Manipulation: Part 1

I am not geared towards enjoying people telling me what to do. I have a tendency to rebel against authority, unless I deeply trust the one in charge. Historically, this can be seen clearly in my relationship with God and people. Sometimes people do not have the authority to enforce their will, so they simply try to cloak their efforts to get others to do what they want them to do (and get what they want). With my mindset, I am often compelled to have my guard up. That being said, I have a keen sense for manipulation.

Recently, I have been praying about and contemplating this great struggle I have with people I perceive as being users and manipulators. Throughout my journey with Christ, searching for truth that will set me free from this, if I am not careful I forget that I, too, fall into this category at times. There are circumstances in which I fall for the temptation to manipulate people to think I'm smart, to try to control my environment for some sense of false security, and to convince others to listen to my advice (this last one is a killer in counseling sessions!). So...I struggle with the same sinful behavior I see in others and hate so deeply.

There is a need to surrender my efforts to control others and my surroundings. In my case, the primary example of how I tend to manipulate is by doing everything I can to disallow the possibility of BEING manipulated (or controlled). This, of course, sometimes flows over into me trying to prevent those around me from being manipulated as well. Discernment is a wonderful thing to exercise, but living in fear of being manipulated is a whole other ballgame. It only leads to anger, anxiety, and a sense of hopelessness. When I am attempting to manipulate, regardless of my perceived motive, I have lost sight of the fact that I can trust God to be intimately involved in those matters, so I jump in the driver's seat. And whether I'm the one manipulating, or if I am the one being manipulated, the end result is pain and suffering.

I obviously have more than just a healthy aversion to manipulation. However, manipulation is the primary tool of our Enemy (his lies are manipulative tools meant to destroy us), so we must not discount it as something to watch out for. It is dangerous, and we need to practice discernment in order to recognize it. God's truth undoubtedly sets us free, so manipulation, being engulfed in lies, can only lead to bondage when we fall for it. I know I hate to see someone I love being manipulated. If I hate it, how much more must God hate to see those He loves being misled, used, and, ultimately, lured away from the truth that sets them free.

Personally, pondering that truth of how God views manipulative forces on this earth helps me to let go a little. If He actually loves me and those I love more than I can fathom, then, as His child, I can fully trust Him to work things together for good. That doesn't mean that we won't ever ignore His voice of truth when He is warning us and, inevitably, believe some of the lies being sold to us on a constant basis. However, He is much better equipped for the job than I am to reach out in truth and love to rescue me and those I love.

The fight is not necessarily "me vs the manipulative forces", rather, the fight is to believe the truth so strongly that the manipulative forces lose their power. This goes back, of course, to my relationship with God through Christ, not how well I protect myself and those around me from manipulation. In fact, sometimes when I dish out truth, it is just noise to those around me. And I must not forget that, at times, I have my own struggle with manipulating others to get what I want. Perhaps I need to deal with this 2X4 in my own eye before trying to yank the splinter out of someone else's.