"I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me." (Romans 7:15-20, ESV)
There's a huge difference between God working on my sin with me by His Grace through Faith and working on my sin myself. The first is full of healing and moving forward. It's completely dependent upon Him. It requires that I surrender my own efforts with the full understanding that the other option is hopeless. The other option, working on my sin, is full of failure and more heartache. I am completely incapable of any success when I set out to work on it. It's a completely ridiculous notion that comes from my desire to accomplish something in my own power. It's what all religion outside of Christ is based on. Sometimes it comes from a seemingly goodhearted desire to "do what's right" and to "avoid doing what's wrong". Maybe I tell myself I need to set out on this mission to please others or God. One major falsehood here is in telling myself that I can please God with my actions. Without faith, it is impossible to please Him (Hebrews 11:6), and when I set out to please Him by working on my sin, I have left Him out of the process. I have foregone trusting Him with any of it, and chosen to trust in my own efforts. I think this is a major issue amongst most Christians, including myself. I write about it a lot here because I face it a lot. Part of accepting Christ is accepting my need to completely rely on Him, and that includes relying on Him to deal with my everyday sin problem.
Paul alludes to another major truth in the above passage in Romans 7. He makes the statement that if he does what he does not want to do, he agrees with the law. What I see here is that Paul is highlighting his desire to do what is right and to not do what is wrong. Although he is incapable of doing what is right and avoiding what is wrong, his desire is to do those very things. His HEART is in the right place. Our hearts get into this condition that Paul is describing through faith. We are not saved through striving to change our behaviors, so we certainly do not grow in Christ through striving to change our behaviors (See Galatians 3). God's main focus is our heart condition. Therefore, we should make it ours as well. Again, this is not only pertaining to what we refer to as our salvation, but also in sanctification, or our daily growth. Only by Grace through Faith do we stand a chance against sin because only by Grace through Faith do we connect with a Savior that has power over sin. When we ask God to help us take a look at our hearts, then we may begin to see our motivations, what drives us, our core beliefs, or what really is leading to the sin that we see in our lives. But I cannot help but notice that even though Paul's heart is in the right place at the the writing of Romans 7, he is still struggling with sin. He obviously was not immediately "fixed". When this happens to us, the struggle to trust in and rely upon God's Grace in the presence of imperfections begins. Fortunately, we are forced to rely on Him even more. If not for this, I think we would revert right back to relying on ourselves.
