When We Just Want to Fix It

As a parent, I often find myself in situations in which I want so badly to fix something for my son. It is not pleasant to watch him struggle through things. Recently, he injured himself playing basketball and was sidelined from the sport he loves (track) for several weeks. It was painful knowing he was missing out on track meets he longed to participate in each week.

In that particular case, my son really did not have a choice. The injury was an accident. Sometimes our children, or others that we care about, make choices that really scare us. Sometimes the consequences of those choices are even scarier. What are we to do when we are in the middle of one of these scenarios?

Fix it. That's right. That is the first instinct for most of us, I believe. Sometimes there is no easy fix, but we worry and devise plans to make things as easy as possible for the other person...to "help" them through whatever it is that's going on. We often take on the responsibility to make things right, or whatever it is we think is right (sometimes we are clear on that, sometimes we are not). With the weight of responsibility comes feelings of guilt, and things just get worse from there. We begin blaming ourselves for whatever it is and sometimes get so fixated on it that we are paralyzed by it.

No matter how many times I travel that road of "fixing it", it always starts out looking good at first. However, the road is always treacherous and it never leads to where I wanted it to go. So what's a better choice? It's important to notice that "fixing", in and of itself, implies self-reliance and self-effort. It also implies that we know what the end result needs to be. No where in the process of trying to fix a problem for someone else is there room for trusting God to work things out according to His plan. There is an absence of faith in "fixing".

So, the alternative to "fixing" is to venture down that road of faith. It may not look like much at first, because we tend to feel like since we are not necessarily scrambling and doing a lot of visible work, that we are on the wrong path. However, although faith is less about "doing" and more about "believing", it is far from easy. Trusting any of God's promises can prove to be a very difficult thing for us at any given moment in time.

So what might this look like? Let's ponder, for a moment, how God deals with His children (us!). Despite the fact that God loves us perfectly as our Father, He surprisingly does not choose to fix everything for us. This does not sit well with us at times. However, one thing He always chooses to do is love us. He apparently knows that the most important thing during a crisis is for us is to be loved by Him. That love is more than enough. It is more important, even, than having our problems fixed for us. Trusting in this kind of love and offering it to others is crucial...and far more valuable than any fix we can muster up.

The Courage to Be Genuine

Not too long ago, my wife and I sat outside having one of our deep discussions. Somehow the topic moved to "Who in our lives do we really respect?". It was an interesting thing for me to ponder. Having been let down more than once by others I had mistakenly put on a pedestal, I am cautious with whom I toss the word "respect" around.

I think we typically look to people we deem "successful"; having something we'd like to have ourselves. Our definition of "successful" may revolve around the accumulation of wealth, power, knowledge, prestige, or fame. I have noticed that we, in general, will even look up to people who simply have the appearance of success, regardless if there actually is any real-life evidence to support the existence of it (such as a person who is a good speaker, dresses stylishly, or has several followers on Twitter or Vine). 

Upon meditating about these things, I found myself gravitating towards thoughts of people in my life who are authentic; people who are not posing as something they are not. I guess seven years of ministering to people as a counselor has opened my eyes to the value of a real relationship, where both parties are not interested in trying to put up a front. Painful life situations are not fun, but they certainly provide ample opportunity to take up the courage to risk finding and being yourself, no matter what anyone thinks.

Ironically, people who are on the road towards authenticity often do not even respect themselves at times. They struggle through difficult times and think they are somehow a failure because they do not have it all together. Taking off the masks and being real is far from easy.

Well, my message to you, if you are one of those people, is that I hold a deep respect for you. I recognize the courage it takes to be real and push forward in the midst of hardship. I honor the commitment to holding on to the authenticity you have discovered and refusing to revert back to the old ways of doing things. I applaud you for asking God the hard questions, not afraid to admit you are upset or even angry with Him at times. I admire the new heart God has given you and how you are taking steps of faith to put that good heart to use, in spite of that pesky "old self" popping up every now and again. But much more important than what my thoughts and opinions are about you, God honors and loves the fact that you are being who He created you to be.

While being genuine is not the only characteristic worthy of respect, it is the foundation from which many other respectable qualities spring forth. It fuels true relationship. Before any of us even had a relationship with God, we had to get real with Him about who we were and why we needed a Savior. For those of us still struggling with this journey, or perhaps contemplating taking off the masks for the first time, I can think of no greater expression of faith than to risk letting down our guards and simply being who God created us to be.

Ten Steps on How to Be a Better Christian

April Fools!

Just a little joke for April Fools' Day. Those of you that know me know that I would never push a self-help approach to the Christian walk. Paul knew the foolishness of such an approach and discussed it with the Galatian believers...

O foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you? It was before your eyes that Jesus Christ was publicly portrayed as crucified. 2 Let me ask you only this: Did you receive the Spirit by works of the law or by hearing with faith? 3 Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh? 4 Did you suffer so many things in vain—if indeed it was in vain? 5 Does he who supplies the Spirit to you and works miracles among you do so by works of the law, or by hearing with faith—6 just as Abraham “believed God, and it was counted to him as righteousness”? 7 Know then that it is those of faith who are the sons of Abraham.
Galatians 3:1-7 (ESV)

We are to walk by faith, not by striving to achieve better behavior. Working hard to be a better person did not get us into a relationship with God. God did that through us trusting in Christ, and that does not change once we become believers. We need Christ every step of the way like we need food and water to live. It continues to be through Faith that we can be the men and women He has created us to be. Without His Grace through Faith, I can no more take one step in the right direction as a follower of Christ than I could take one step towards God without Christ before He saved me.