Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Strategic Deconditioning

The setting in 2 Samuel 7 is this: King David has finally come to a moment in his life that he can rest. He has spent years fighting battle after battle. God has given him victory over the opposing forces time and time again. Now, David wants to do something I think many of us would think about doing at a time like that. It's time to move on to the next big thing. David wants to build God a temple to dwell in. He may have been thinking, "Why slow down now? Let's stay busy with 'the Lord's work'." At least that's probably what I would have said.

However, that was not God's plan. Instead, God put off the building of a temple for David's offspring. Nathan, the prophet at the time, delivers the message to David. The following passage (2 Samuel 7:18-29) details David's prayer after receiving this news from God. The ESV of the Bible calls this "David's Prayer of Gratitude". David goes on and on praising the Lord, recognizing all that He has done. His words reflect an awe of God. David is worshipping his Heavenly Father deeply and passionately. David didn't get what he wanted, but he got what he needed: a stop sign from God. It appears to me that, instead of "getting busy with something else to do", God called David to slow down and rest.

Years ago, I discovered a hobby that I really enjoy: lifting weights. Any weight lifter that knows anything about building muscle will tell you, you don't grow muscle in the gym. You put in the hard work in the gym, but you grow when you rest. If you don't rest, you just tear your body down, and it doesn't have time to repair itself. One workout plan I have followed for a while requires a full week off periodically. It's called "Strategic Deconditioning". Without this crucial rest break, the workout only leads to overtraining (injuries, sickness, and actual LOSS of muscle mass). But after this crucial week off, your body is ready to move to the next phase of training.

David was probably worn down from all the fighting. Although he did not realize it, he needed time to rest, heal, and grow. We all need those periods in our life where we stop for a moment and chill out. I know for me, when I find myself pushing myself harder and harder, I eventually find myself anxious, having a difficult time getting a good night's sleep, and short-tempered. I also find myself isolated from God. And it's not that I am not doing the things typically acclaimed as what a Christian "should be doing". I may be spending my time in my morning devotions, attending church regularly, and participating in the new small group study on Sunday nights, but the busyness of it all detracts from any depth in my personal relationship with Christ. Even seemingly good things can often become more of a chore to mark off of my list than an intimate conversation with God and others.

And so I sometimes find myself struggling, itching to jump forward. I try to recall how disastrous that can be when I do not take a time-out every now and then. I have definitely experienced that before. It's not fun. "Waiting on God" is hard. But as with the story of David in 2 Samuel 7, I can see that "waiting" doesn't necessarily mean twiddling my thumbs. The down-time He gives me is not only healing and relaxing, but it is crucial to my growth. It's crucial to my relationship with God becoming more real to me in a world that screams at me to "STAY BUSY!", all the while robbing me of the relationships with Him and others that really matter.


He MAKES me lie down in green pastures. He LEADS me beside still waters. (Psalm 23:2, ESV, emphasis added by me)

Thursday, September 12, 2013

The Opiate of Blame


And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool1 of the day, and the man and his wife bhid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?”2 10 And he said, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, cbecause I was naked, and I hid myself.” 11 He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” 12 The man said, d“The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” 13 Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this that you have done?” The woman said, e“The serpent deceived me, and I ate.” (Genesis 3:8-13, ESV)

Anyone who knows anything about me probably knows that I have been a fan of old-school Smashing Pumpkins music for a long time. Recently, while listening to one of my favorite songs, a lyric sung by Billy Corgan stood out to me. In the song “Soma”, he makes the statement, “The opiate of blame…is your broken heart”. While I think Corgan was pointing towards something else entirely, I began pondering something about the “opiate of blame” part.

In a previous post, I talked extensively about manipulation in our lives. One of the most used forms of manipulation is blame. It goes way back to the Garden of Eden. Adam quickly blamed God, Eve, and Satan for his sin. When we place blame on someone or something other than ourselves, we choose to shift the focus off of ourselves. Instead of taking responsibility for our own choices (standing by and saying nothing as Eve had a conversation with Satan, eating the fruit offered by Eve, etc.), Adam chose to blame others in an attempt to avoid his own guilt and shame.  

Blame is like an opiate. Opiates are painkillers. They offer a quick escape from reality. When we do something wrong, there are consequences, and those consequences affect ourselves and others. Blame is used to manipulate a situation so that the pain of personal guilt is killed. Blame appears to be an escape from the consequences of our actions. It feels much safer than owning our mistakes. It feels much easier than taking personal responsibility for something. These feelings are lying, however, just like the feelings ascertained by taking opiates. When on an opiate, the damage that is causing the pain is still there, although temporarily numbed. It is the same with blame. Later, these things will resurface, just as the pain does after an opiate wears off. And while we are numbed, more damage will be done because the pain is not there to warn us to stop. Blame is different than opiates in at least one way. Opiates have a place in medicine for those who need it. Blame is an insidious drug that, even in moderation, has no real, lasting benefits.

Blame is tempting only because we fail to see the truth behind what it is and what it does. Blame requires absolutely no trust in the Lord whatsoever and only tears down relationships with others. It is an act independent of God that leads to all kinds of painful consequences that only get worse due to the delay in dealing with them. The truth is, although every situation involves people on both sides who are at fault for something, it is advantageous to no one to point fingers.

It is vitally important for us to acknowledge our tendency to blame. Once we are willing to acknowledge this tendency, we can sense the Holy Spirit nudging us so that we can catch ourselves in the act. We can then choose to take a step of faith rather than settle to hide behind blame. If all those involved in a given situation chose not to blame, issues would be resolved and relationships would be restored. If only one person decided to take up his or her own responsibility, that one person would be able to move forward, even if the relationship did not. But when no one is willing to look at themselves…when everyone chooses to blame, then everyone is bound to the consequences of unaddressed hurt and shame, which are extremely painful, even if the blame delays the onset of symptoms.