The Devil Did NOT Make Me Do It

One morning, a couple of weeks ago, I woke up from a not-so-great night's sleep. I went to bed a little later than I really needed to, and then I woke up a little earlier than I really wanted to. Oh well, no big deal, except for those that I live with. My patience runs thin and my filter is almost non-existent when I go without enough sleep. And if you think that's bad, you should see me when I'm hungry!

It would be quite easy for me to blame my irritability (and the behavior that goes along with it) on lack of quality sleep. If that's not enough, I could blame it on the fact that I had a stressful week at work. And if that doesn't prove the point that it's not really my fault, I will throw in that the weather has been less than ideal for me.

We often blame others for our own issues, but I know I often blame other things as well. Blaming others, circumstances, inanimate objects, or anything else prevents change. Blame gives me an excuse to act any way I want.

The fact is, insomnia did not make me snap at my wife that morning. On another day, being hungry and not being able to eat when I wanted did not make me act like a total jerk to the ones I was waiting on to go get something to eat. And, NO, the devil did NOT make me do any of that stuff, either.

Although it's painful to admit this, my behavior always comes from what's inside of me already. Many things in this world cause stress, but stress, at it's worst, does not cause my behavior to be bad. The very worst it can do is reveal things I am trying my best to hide. Nothing removes a mask quicker than stress. For example, it becomes a lot harder to act nice to people when we are at our wit's end. We lose the ability to hide our true feelings when we just don't have any energy left to keep our masks on tight so nobody sees what's underneath. And our true feelings, like behaviors, are evidence of something going on in our hearts, so it's important to actually take a look at them.

Instead of making excuses, no matter how good they can seem sometimes, we are much better off to own our behavior and emotions. They are always evidence of something deep inside of us. For example, my anger (that's really what it was) became apparent when lack of sleep brought it to a head. Acknowledging that it is coming from me, not lack of sleep or stress, helps me to take a look at why I am really angry. The answer to that question is usually surprising and completely unrelated to what I was blaming it on.

Taking personal responsibility for our actions allows us to acknowledge our own sin. This is part of repentance. It opens the door for God's Grace to wash over us, revealing and healing the things in our hearts that need addressing. We take hold of this through faith, because it requires trust in the Lord to be responsible with our behavior. It's scary to humble ourselves and let others see that we have messed up. It may lead to others making fun of us or pointing the finger of blame at us. It may lead to others being angry or upset at us. It could really set us back on our personal goals at the moment. Faith takes courage. It is scary, even terrifying at times, to exercise faith. It's much easier to keep on hiding and blaming everything else. But it is more rewarding to be real. Blame is bondage, whether we blame people, places, or things.

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. (Ephesians 2:8-10, ESV)

In the long run, the freedom we experience when we are ourselves, good or bad, is awesome. Even when what's revealed is bad, it forces us to actually deal with things we've been sweeping under the rug. Often times the path is rough before it gets better. However, it's through this type of living that we are able to be who God created us to be.